The Princess and the Ferret
by FallingforWerewolves
Summary: "Deranged."  "Fine, I'll humor you on this one."  When the kids ask Harry to tell them "The Princess and the Frog", Harry decideds to do his own version, much to the annoyance of Draco Malfoy.  AU EWE DM/HG HP/GW RW/LB


**A/N: I was watching The Princess and the Frog when this popped into my head. Why? Because I've got friends on the other side. Sorry, couldn't resist. The kids are about four, five and six. I don't know, around there.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Shocker!**

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><p>"Hey Dad, Aunt Mione told us a story yesterday with a princess and a frog in it. Can you tell it to us?"<p>

Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived-Quite-A-Few-Times-And-Was-Now-Married-And-Had-Kids, looked at his daughter Lily (who looked almost exactly like her mother, Ginny) who was sitting on the floor along with all the other children. Not all of them were his, mind you, but the children were so close they were like brothers and sisters.

Harry glanced over to the couch (for he himself was sitting in the arm chair) and looked at Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy, who were not at war with each other, nor had they been for a few years. In fact, the three boys had called a truce years ago that had somehow graduated to friendship. Harry remembered that day well: the weather, the time and of course the reason for the truce.

_Wait just one second..._

Harry turned back to Lily and the other expectant children with a smile on his face. Draco, upon seeing that smile, began to panic. Over the years Draco had learned to read the facial expressions the other two men possessed. This smile Harry had on his face meant trouble.

Draco muttered "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

"Because that's Harry's 'I'm up to something you won't like' smile," Ron replied nonchalantly.

"Well," Harry said in a tone that confirmed Draco's suspicions (Harry was definetly up to something). "I do know the story, but I also know another version you may like to hear. Especially you, Scorpius."

"Why me?" Scorpius Malfoy asked, coming up and sitting next to Lily.

Draco now fully understood. "Oh dear God," he groaned, holding his face in his hands.

Ron snickered. "I see where this is going."

Harry just smiled at the little blond haired boy. "You'll see."

Scorpius apparently considered this a good enough answer because he just shrugged and waited for Harry to continue. Harry now had all of the childrens' attentions now and he cleared his throat dramatically (causing Draco to roll his eyes, but Harry never noticed).

"This version of the story is called 'The Princess and the Ferret'."

"Bloody hell!" Draco exclaimed, using Ron's favourite expression. All the kids and turned around and shushed him, and then proceeded to turn back to Harry.

"A few years ago at Hogwarts, the school you'll all be going to when you're eleven, there was once a girl known as the Gryffindor Princess."

"How long would I be in Azkaban for if I murdered him right now?" Draco asked Ron under his breath.

"Let's see," Ron whispered, "murdering a war hero and in front of a group of small children. I'm pretty sure it's for life if you don't get sentenced to the Kiss right away."

"Damn," Draco muttered causing Ron to chuckle.

"She had two best friends in the whole entire world," Harry continued, ignorant of the talk of his untimely death (which he had heard enough about his whole life). "Both were extremely brave and stood up to their worst fears. They were also incredibly handsome."

"Do the friends have anything to do with the story, Potter?" Draco inquired from the couch.

Harry smirked. "Nope, just thought I'd mention them. Anyway, there was also a prince, you could say. His friends reffered to him as the Slytherin Prince. He was hopelessly arrogant; and one day he tried to cast a spell on one of the incredibly handsome friends of the princess. See, Draco? The friends do have something to do with the story."

"Oh, just get on with it," Draco snapped. "I want this humiliation over with as soon as possible."

"So, after the prince tried to fire the curse a... What's the best word to describe Moody?"

"Deranged." Three guesses who said that.

Harry sighed. "Fine, I'll humor you on this one. A 'deranged' wizard turned him into a ferret."

Lily decided it was her turn to interupt. "So, the princess has to kiss the ferret for him to turn into a prince again, right?"

"Well," Harry started, but Draco burst in again. He did that a lot.

"Humor your daughter, Potter, and forget about whatever you were going to say."

"Why don't you like this story, Dad?" Scorpius asked from his spot between Lily and James.

Ron couldn't take it anymore. He went into a fit of hysterics and clutched his stomach.

"What's so funny now?" Draco asked annoyed.

"You've never told your son," Ron began.

"I haven't even told my parents! What makes you think I would tell my child?"

Scorpius and Lucinda (Ron and Lavendar's daughter) shared a look that said "Our fathers are crazy."

Harry cleared his throat. "Now back to the incredibly fascinating story I was telling. Now the ferret did turn human again, but never quite lost his ferrety ways. It took him quite a while to fall in love with the princess, and vice versa."

"What's vice versa mean?" Albus asked.

"In this situation it means that it also took the princess a long time to fall in love with the prince and/or ferret."

Albus was satisfied with his father's answer, for now. He made a mental note to ask his father more later. Albus liked using big words and knowing what they meant.

"But eventually they did fall in love and as far as I know are still living happily ever after."

"That was different from Aunt Mione's," Lily accused.

"Why did you say earlier that Scorpius would be insterested in it?" James asked. James seemed to remember everything. It was useful sometimes, but could also be annoying. Namely when it came to ice cream.

Draco groaned on the couch again. "He's too young to know the truth."

Ron snorted and handed Draco a couch cushion. "Here's something to hide your face in out of embarrasment."

Draco stuck his tongue out at Ron, always the mature adult, but buried his face in the cushion none the less and waved at Harry and Ron to go on.

"Well," Ron announced with too much glee for Draco's liking, "for most of the rest of our time spent at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy here was known among the Gryffindors as 'the amazing bouncing ferret'."

"Not just the Gryffindors," Harry piped up. "Blaise reffered to you as ferret boy once, Draco."

"I'm going to kill all three of you."

Then came the sound of a door opening and closing.

"Mione!" Ron called out. "Your husbands making death threats again!"

Hermione entered the room rolling her eyes. "What did you do to provoke him this time?"

"Mum," Scorpius spoke up from the floor. "When I'm older, will I turn into a ferret?"

"You didn't!" Hermione snapped at Ron and Harry.

Then they said in perfect unison, like Fred and George used to do, "We did."

Hermione turned back to her son. "You won't turn into a ferret, Scorpius." Then she walked over and smacked Harry upside the head, and then moved across the room and did the same thing to Ron. "You two are so hopeless."

And once again in perfect unison, "We know."

"Ginny! Lavendar!" Hermione called out. "Your husbands brought up the ferret fiasco!"

This earned Harry and Ron another smack upside the head.

"Your a violent bunch," Draco commented, finally lifting his head away from the small pillow. Only to have Lily get right up in his face.

"He doesn't look like a ferret," she observed, poking his nose.

Albus came up next to Lily and squinted, even though he had his glasses on. "When he scrunches up his face he does."

James's head came from behind, so he was looking at Draco upside down.

"You've both got a point," James announced.

Draco looked over at Harry. "Do your children not understand the meaning of personal space?"

Harry smiled proudly. "Nope."

Draco now had all the children around him, trying to figure out whether he looked like a ferret or not.

"Potter you are never allowed to tell these children those stories ever again."

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><p><em>One week later...<em>

"Once upon a time, there was a selfish prince by the name of Marco Dalfoy."

"Hermione! The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy-Me is telling his stories again!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. The way her life was looking now, Scorpius was probably the most mature person in the male population that she knew. And Scorpius was five. That said something about the maturity of men in her life.

"DO NOT SAY FERRET!" Hermione heard Draco yell from downstairs. Her life was never boring.


End file.
